Perfect Match is a dating show on Netflix, designed to engage viewers with a competitive and romantic format. (Netflix, n.d.). The show’s competition extends beyond just physical challenges or romantic chemistry; it delves into the deeper emotional aspects, especially when trust is involved. Trustworthiness can be summarized by three key traits: being reliable, authentic, and truthful (Khan & Lee, 2019).

In Perfect Match, contestants face various uncertainties in both their romantic relationships and friendships, particularly during moments like entering the "Boardroom" after winning a challenge, where relationships may shift or contestants risk elimination. Trust becomes a fragile currency as participants, many from diverse backgrounds or previous dating shows, bring preconceived notions or reputations that influence how others perceive them.

This dynamic underscores how emotional stakes, particularly trust, play a pivotal role in shaping relationships within the competition.

Dark background and complicated dynamics

Some participants have a history from other reality or dating shows, which adds complexity to the new dynamics. For instance, there are moments when two girls, whose boyfriends have chosen to go on a date with other women, try to convince each other that the situation is more complicated for one of them because of how long they’ve been together—since day one. This type of comparison fosters insecurity as contestants try to justify their emotional stakes in the competition. In these cases, a dark background or prior experience in reality TV becomes a disadvantage or advantage, depending on how the narrative is spun.

Uncertainty and emotional disclosure

One contestant illustrates the uncertainty that is key to the show’s manipulative design. Despite expressing interest in his match by stating, “I really like you,” he reveals his uncertainty during a date with another contestant. By portraying himself as unsure and strategically positioning himself as a “loser” he aims to gain sympathy and appeal to his new date. This type of emotional disclosure, while appearing vulnerable, is actually a calculated tactic to influence the dynamic. It’s essential to be cautious when sharing information, ensuring that it’s done with individuals who are receptive and trustworthy, as this fosters effective self-disclosure (Valkenburg et al., 2011).

According to social penetration theory, people intentionally share personal information based on the perceived benefits and costs of sustaining relationships over time (Lei et al., 2022). Given that the show’s objective is to form connections and build strong matches, couples often disclose personal details with the potential reward of solidifying their relationship and winning the competition. However, the question remains whether this disclosure is ultimately positive or negative. Since much of the contestants’ dialogue and interviews are not made public until after the show airs, the risk of being labeled as untrustworthy or deceptive adds another layer of complexity to the reality show’s darker side.

This emotional complexity highlights a key issue: the belief of being a “second choice.” The emotional toll of competition is amplified when contestants feel like they are vying for attention or affection in a system where only one “perfect match” can be crowned. This psychological manipulation taps into deeper insecurities, creating interpersonal conflicts that make for dramatic television but can be damaging to the participants.

Power imbalance and gender dynamics

A notable aspect of Perfect Match is the power imbalance between male and female contestants, especially in elimination rounds where boys are often in the “power seat,” choosing which girls to keep in the competition. This setup intensifies the stakes for the female contestants, as their position is dependent on male choices. The uncertain, "loser" contestant mentioned earlier tries to manipulate this power dynamic by convincing his new date to label another girl’s relationship as weak or troubled, further skewing the competition in his favor.

This situation reflects broader themes of gender power imbalance and competition-driven interpersonal communication. The show’s structure tempts the male contestants with control over elimination decisions, which can lead to unethical or manipulative behavior, adding another layer to the show's psychological complexity. Especially when male contestants reject or ignore female participants, the emotional impact goes beyond mere manipulation or dismissal. They often face a deeper sense of disappointment and isolation within the group.

Conclusion

Perfect Match serves as a microcosm of deeper issues in reality dating shows, where competition, power imbalances, and manipulation are all at play. The constant uncertainty and real emotional stakes make for compelling television, but at a significant cost to interpersonal trust and emotional well-being. Through the lens of competition, the show reveals how fragile relationships can become when subjected to the pressures of public scrutiny, limited time, and manipulative tactics. This dynamic calls for greater critical awareness of how entertainment capitalizes on real human emotions.

Work cited:

Netflix. (n.d.). Perfect Match. 

Khan, J., & Lee, S. (2019). Implicit user trust modeling based on user attributes and behavior in online social networks. *IEEE Access, 7*, 142826-142842. 

Lei, X., Wu, H., Deng, Z., & Ye, Q. (2022). Self-disclosure, social support and postpartum depressive mood in online social networks: a social penetration theory perspective. Information Technology &Amp; People, 36(1), 433-453.

Schouten, A. P., Valkenburg, P. M., & Peter, J. (2007). Precursors and Underlying Processes of Adolescents’ Online Self-Disclosure: Developing and Testing an “Internet-Attribute-Perception” Model. Media Psychology, 10(2), 292–315.